When You Realise You Don’t Have to Go Through ARFID Alone: How to Build a Supportive Communication Network

 If you're parenting a child with ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder), you’ve probably had more than one moment where you felt like you were stranded on a deserted island—armed only with a plate of rejected foods and a rapidly dwindling sense of hope. It can feel isolating, frustrating, and overwhelming. But here’s the thing: you don’t have to do this alone.

One of the most powerful tools you have at your disposal is communication—within your family, with professionals, and even with your own inner voice (which might currently be screaming, “WHY WON’T YOU JUST TRY IT?”). So, let’s talk about how to build a network that actually helps you and your child navigate ARFID with a little less stress and a lot more support.

Communication: The Secret Sauce to Managing ARFID

We often think of food as something we just… eat. But for a child with ARFID, food is a whole experience—one that can trigger stress, anxiety, and a full-body shutdown at the mere sight of a “wrong” texture. That’s why communication is key.

1. Talking With Your Child (Without the Pressure)

Here’s the deal: If mealtimes have become a battleground, we need a new strategy. The goal is to remove pressure and make food exploration feel safe, not stressful.

• Ditch the ‘Just Take a Bite’ Strategy: If sheer willpower worked, we wouldn’t be here. Instead, focus on descriptive words and curiosity. Rather than “Just try it,” try, “Do you think it looks crispy or soft?”

• Help Them Find Their Words: Sometimes kids just don’t have the vocabulary to explain why they can’t eat something. If they say, “I don’t like it,” ask follow-ups: “Is it too crunchy? Too sticky? Does it have a strong smell?”

• Let Them Have a Say: Teaching your child to communicate how they feel about food will help you both. Maybe today is a “play it safe” day, and that’s okay. Other days might be a “try something new” day—but let them take the lead.

2. The Words We Use Matter—For Them and Us

As parents, we bring a lot of subconscious food beliefs to the table. If you grew up hearing, “You can’t leave the table until your plate is clean,” you might unintentionally bring that pressure into your own parenting. But shifting how we talk about food can make all the difference.

• Watch a Cooking Show Together: This helps introduce new words without pressure. “Ooh, that looks crunchy! That sauce looks smooth!”

• Practice Food Descriptions: The more we describe food, the more they can too. Try offering two words to help them—“Does it feel soft or chewy?”

• Reflect on Your Own Language: Are you unintentionally labelling foods as “good” or “bad”? Try focusing on sensory experiences instead!

   

Building Your ARFID Dream Team

No one fights a battle alone (except maybe in action movies, but even superheroes have a sidekick). Surrounding yourself with the right support team can change everything.

1. Find the Right Professionals

• Dietitians, Feeding Therapists, and Psychologists who understand ARFID aren’t just helpful—they’re game-changers. They can offer insight into both the physical and emotional aspects of food struggles.

• Occupational Therapists can help with sensory sensitivities and meal-time anxieties.

• Speech Therapists sometimes play a role if texture issues are linked to oral motor difficulties.

   

2. Lean on Your People

• Not everyone will “get” ARFID, but that’s okay. Find your supportive family members, friends, or online communities who do.

• Having people in your corner who cheer for progress (no matter how small) makes a difference. They’ll remind you that the small wins are wins—whether it’s a lick of a new food or simply tolerating something on the plate.

Asking for Help is a Superpower, Not a Weakness

Let’s clear this up right now: Asking for help does not mean you’ve failed. In fact, it means you’re being proactive.

• The earlier you ask for help, the more energy you’ll have to actually implement changes.

• You’re not just supporting your child—you’re supporting yourself too. Burnout is real, and parenting a child with ARFID is exhausting. Getting help makes the journey more sustainable.

Keeping the Conversation Going

Now that you’re building this solid foundation, how do you keep the conversation going?

• Regular Check-Ins: Ask your child how they’re feeling about food—not just at meals, but at low-pressure times too.

• Make Food Talk Fun: Play a game where you describe food using only non-traditional words (e.g., “This broccoli feels like a tiny tree!”).

• Encourage Curiosity Over Compliance: Food should be an experience, not an obligation.

You’ve Got This

Parenting a child with ARFID isn’t easy, but you are not alone in this. With the right communication tools, a strong support system, and a whole lot of patience (okay, maybe just a little bit of patience), you can create an environment where your child feels safe, heard, and supported.

So, take a deep breath. Find your people. And remember—every small step forward is still progress. 💛